Ayahuasca: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Ayahuasca is a literal magic potion.

And real magic, we may say, is not all fairy dust, rainbows, and orgasms.

Let’s take a look at the beautiful and at times hideous medicine: Ayahuasca.


In my life *nothing* has been more profoundly healing and life-altering than working with Ayahuasca.

When I first came to the medicine in 2018, I had spent years dealing with significant guilt and anxiety.

Within a few sessions with Ayahuasca, ~95% of my guilt and anxiety dissolved.

The past, which had previously seemed so three-dimensional and heavy, seemed to collapse down to something 2-d and lightweight.

It was like a burdensome backpack filled with troubling memories simply fell away.

Not only that, but my fear of death (the root of all fear) diminished by ~90% or so as well.

I hadn’t realized how much resistance I was still holding—resistance to life, to death, to being human.

A huge portion of this resistance simply melted away as I directly experienced the Divine Intelligence of Nature letting me know that I could *completely* Trust in What Is, in every moment.

Further work with Ayahuasca took me deeper and deeper, allowing me to experience profound states of egolessness, timelessness, Oneness, and the Pure Light of Heaven.

Through Ayahuasca, Bufo, meditation, inquiry, and reading many non-dual teachers, I came to know God—simply another word for Being or Reality—directly in my own experience.

The effortless ALIVENESS of All That Is, and the Infinite Intelligence permeating the Whole Dance, revealed itself to me with resounding clarity, such that I cannot forget.

I now walk through life continuously in awe of the Radiant Mystery of the Now, the Divine Artistry of every moment. I feel the Grace of God as the Living Presence of which every experience is constituted.

I now have an ability to be gentle with myself and chuckle at my human foibles and idiosyncrasies, on a level I could not previously imagine. I totally still have vices and addictions and ‘shortcomings’ and less-than-wholesome tendencies and whatnot, but I no longer see this as a “problem” or something I need to change.

It all simply IS as it IS, moment to moment. And I can let it be as it is, and know it is All Okay. Paradoxically, this ALLOWING of everything to be AS IT IS seems to continue to heal and free me far more than any ‘self-improvement’ approach ever did.

Ayahuasca is *not* a walk in the park and should not be over-romanticized. I would not recommend it to everyone—only those who simply feel an *intuitive* call to it. Some of my experiences have felt akin to dying, or giving birth, or wading through an eternal desert of suffering.

It’s no joke. It’s not for the faint of heart. Ayahuasca is a Master Teacher who is not afraid to give you the Medicine your Soul truly needs, rather than what you may *think* you need.

I have been profoundly humbled by this medicine many times. Recently the medicine has really taken me through hell to *humble* and *ground* me in *compassionate presence* on the Earth.

At times my faith has been shaken by this medicine, yet this has also shown me the beauty of faith: What would be the use or power of faith if we were always absolutely certain of God’s Perfection?

Through this work I have come to see Faith and Trust in God as our greatest allies on the path of life. Nothing is more powerful. Nothing strengthens a human being like Infinite Faith.

Thank you, Ayahuasca. At times I have cursed you and wondered why I keep coming back to you, yet later on an Understanding always blossoms. An Understanding that you were seeing me more clearly than I could see myself, simply giving me what I needed.

Given the immense Purge we’re going through on this planet right now in these tectonic times, I can honestly say that I see no greater ally for mankind right now than Ayahuasca and other plant medicines.

These medicines literally enable you to Heal and Clear inner blockages in a few hours that might otherwise have taken a lifetime to release. When experienced in a wisely cultivated context, they can occasion literal miracles of Rebirth and Reconnection to Love.

Thank you, Ayahuasca. I love you.

If this essay resonated, you'll enjoy my Dead Honest Newsletter, my list of Cage-Melting Books, and following me on on Facebook and Instagram.

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About Jordan Bates

Jordan Bates is a Lover of God, healer, mentor of leaders, writer, and music maker. The best way to keep up with his work is to join nearly 7,000 people who read his Substack newsletter.

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